Living in a sky high expectations with a down low motivation

"You must work harder...and smarter"

That was what most of the lecturers said to us...when they were looking at our previous...and current performance in the various postings that we have been thru...it is not really good if we want to compare with the juniors whose the curriculum has been refined and tuned well with a near complete facilities and teachers...it is not a matter of jealousy or any inferiority complexes but how much we can do to reach the standard within a short period of time...

Don't know how to put the feelings in words...it is hard to say...when we keep on struggling to live in a high expectation with a down low motivation

How much we can do? How far we can go? How good we can be?

What say you?

"Tonite...we will dine in hell!!"

"There will be no mercy..."

During this posting...I learnt a lot of things...about myself and about my future duty...now I know what I should do when they approve me to be safe and competent to serve the community...in summary it is called "The Clinical Work Processes"

Though it was too late to start from the beginning...but at least there is lil' time left to improve...in whatever subject...from the normal human structure and function until it become abnormal and diseased...all of them need to be mastered in this short period of time...because if I cannot met the standard...I am no better than the MA (nih bukan nak kutuk MA, tak terniat langsung...serius!!)

Roughly around 300 days left before we come to the most difficult and most unfair exam on earth...the final professional exam 3!!! It going to be the last and the best 300 days to get (lot of) things done and make the dreams come true...to lead the medical profession and influence the practice worldwide...yosh!!

Help me!!! I'm stucked!!

The end of the beginning...

The Oath of Muslim Physician

Praise be to Allah (God), the Tender, the Unique, Majesty of Heavens, the Exalted, the Glorious, Glory be to Him, the Eternal Being Who created the Universe and all the creatures within, and the Only Being Who contained the infinity and eternity. We serve no other god besides Thee and regard idolatry as an abominable injustice.

Give us strength to be truthful, honest, modest, merciful, and objective. Give us the fortitude to admit our mistakes, to amend our ways and to forgive wrongs of others. Give us the wisdom to comfort and counsel all towards peace and harmony. Give us the understanding that ours is a profession sacred that deals with your most precious gifts of life and intellect.

Therefore, make us worthy of this favored station with honor, dignity and piety so that we may devote our lives in serving mankind, poor or rich, literate or illiterate, Muslim or non-Muslim, black or white with patience and tolerance with virtue and reverence, with knowledge and vigilance, with Thy love in our hearts and compassion for Thy servants, Thy most precious creation.

Hereby, we take this oath in Thy name, the creators of all the Heavens and the earth and follow Thy counsel as Thou has revealed to Prophet Muhammad.

“Who ever killed a human being not in lieu of another human being or because of mischief on earth, it is as if he hath killed all mankind. And if he saved a human life, he hath saved the life of all mankind”

"Malaysian government doctors are the most over-worked and under-paid labor force: An absolute injustice"

All works no play makes Jun a dull boy

"Pandai2lah kamu hidup..."

That was what my professor in neurosurgery said when we started our surgery posting...heh!! It may seem funny or clumsy to you...but it means a lot to me...since we have to be dependent when in the ward with less attention from the lecturers...year 3 students are not the reason why we should stop our clinical works in the wards...not enough patients...no cases...it's all stupid reasons to be told!!

But that is not the issue...during this "enjoyable" postings...we have a free time to do sports...went back home after 5 then quickly rushed to the hall to play badminton and pingpong...after a long time...finally we had a good time to sweat our obesed body...don't know how many kilo that we've put when we were not active...some of us already doubled their size compared to when we entered the medical school...and of course most of us have already loss their beautiful body shape...believe it!!

It was great to exercise and get tired...rather than went back home with a lot of stress and walk like a zombie...not interested with the surrounding...sleep in the room until the next morning (some would scream "alamak...aku tak study ape2 lagik!!" when they woke up)...and some may have planned to lose a few kg after struggling with the rackets and shuttlecocks...yosh!!
I hope I also can lose few kg...because I am getting bigger and wider...nak melancap pon dah tak bole jadik tinggi...sebab epiphysial plate dah closed...hahah!! It was easy and fast to gain weight...but it's hard to lose it even a kg...fuhh!!

"Futsal UMNO Teluk Intan - 1st round: eliminated!!"

Badan Cergas Otak Cerdas

MCQs strikes back!!

"ape ke cite kamu fail theory paper nih?"

Finally...it takes a failure in an exam for us to start back the long lost forgotten study group...hahaha!! Very typical of Melayu MS...bile menari dongak ke langit...langkah sumbang salahkan bumi...silap sedikit tak dipeduli...yeh yeh!! Bile dah berjaya sikit...ape yang ade sume ditingalkan...sebab rase diri tuh hebat sangat...kesian!!
Tapi lebih baik fail sekarang...daripada mase PRO 3 nanti...at leat there is still room for improvement and the time left can be used to strengthen our basic and optimizing our knowledge...yosh!!

To fulfill the vision of being the leader of medical profession and influence the practice worldwide...it needs a lot of effort and sacrifice. We need to have a good knowledge, extraordinary medical skills and excellent teamwork to make the dream come true.
"Being in the team is not to depend on the other members but to give the very best and be the help of others so that it will be the best and excellent team..." (Asada Ryutaro)

Goodluck guys!! All the way to success and glory...god bless all of you and do pray for me too...amin!!

Say yes to shisha?

"For all the dragons..."

A review published in the medical journal Pediatrics found that the concentration of cancer-causing and addictive substances in water-pipes may be equal to those found in cigarettes, with the heat involved being sufficient to generate carcinogenic nitrosamines, and the smoldering charcoal adding some carcinogenic hydrocarbons as well as heavy metals to the smoke. Similarly, a study in the November 2005 issue of the Journal of Periodontology found that the impact of water pipe smoking is equivalent in magnitude to that of cigarette smoking. Ironically, use of the hookah may increase the smoker's toxic exposure, in that studies have shown that the typical hookah smoker spends more time per smoking session exposed to the smoke than do other smokers, presumably because the smoke is less immediately harsh or irritating. Thomas Eissenberg, a professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University co-authored a hookah study which found that a session of hookah smoking which lasts about 45 minutes, delivers 36 times more tar, 15 times more carbon monoxide and 70% more nicotine than a single cigarette. Generally, a cigarette will last no more than 5 minutes, which makes approximatively 9 cigarettes in order to compare to the 45 minutes hookah session. A study in the Journal of Periodontology found that hookah smokers were five times more likely than non-smokers to have signs of gum disease. This is of concern to doctors in North America, as 86% of colleges and universities have at least one hookah lounge within close proximity. The quick-lighting charcoal used by many hookah smokers may be an additional hazard, because it produces greater levels of carbon monoxide and other dangerous substances than standard charcoal. The quick-lighting charcoal is produced by mixing powdered charcoal with various chemicals such as potassium nitrate, that allow it to be quickly and easily ignited.

Dare to smoke...?

"With edi - Uncle Don sucks!!"

"hey guys...I'm inhaling salbutamol and iprotropium bromide for prevention of chronic obstructive airway diseases"

"Overdose..."

One step closer to the end...

"You have to met the standard..."

That was what my professor in medicine said when we failed our medical posting...hola!! It is quit tough to set the standard for those below us since we are the first to experienced all these experiments...like a guinea pigs in the labs...hahaah!!

Clinical practice during the 4th year is much more different from the 3rd year...as an introduction to clinical medicine...3rd year students are expected to take a good, detail and comprehensive history and performing complete physical examination in order to arrive at the differential diagnoses...but in year 4...it is one step higher...we have to know what necessary, appropriate and useful investigations and formulate a detail short-term and long-term management of the patient...fuhh!!!

We failed and performed very badly during the medical posting because we're still in the year 3 standard...a lot of new information that we must know in a very little time...plus all the knowledge about the diseases that've been learned were already forgotten (kindly refer my previous post: 100% reason to remember the name)!! Now you know that you have to know all these when you proceed to year 4...and year 5!!

Once again, they've asked for a detail management and drug dosages for all the problems...in the exam!! Now we realized that is the current standard that we have to achieve...but it is already near the end of the year...which means next year would be a double burden to achieve the higher standard...ai!!

To all of you my friends...be prepared!! If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!!

Once a guinae pig...always a guinae pig!!

100% reason to remember the name

"Patient don't come with 50%..."

I can still remember that sentence very clearly...told by my professor in anatomy class...heh!! It is alraedy 4 years since he had said that sentence...referring to the above statement...it is true that patient don't come with 50% of the illness...they come with 100% of it...applying it to our responsibilities...which means we have to know everything about the human structures, functions and processes...not to forget what disease(s) can arise when those structures, functions or processes became abnormal...fuhh!!

"Ahh...lulus pon dah cukup ok dah!!"...that is what we always said..but our attitude is wrong...and unacceptable!! It is true that we've passed all the exams...nothing great about it when it come to applying the knowledge to the real clinical scenarios...we can't relate it to the patient...this is because we don't have the remaining 50% which is very important to make a dignosis...

Another fellas will say "We don't have to know all...just the principles of those diseases"!!--> yes, you're right...very true...but the problems is...the 50% that we have is only the facts about the diseases...definition, aetiologies, risk factors, epidemiology...memorizing the clinical symptoms...investigations and its management...BUT we don't know the pathophysiology of it(how the disease developed and affect our body)...don't know how to relate it to the clinical features that the patients have...and then after quite sometime...when another patient come with the similar symptoms...we've already forget...

Fact is fact...it can be read later...BUT the basic foundation must be there...another professor has said "If you got your basic principles strong...nobody on earth can shake you..never!!". All those craps saying by the old mans are true...it is just that we can't appreciate it...hahahah!!Poor me!!

Now...no much time left...only another year left...so much works to be done!! A lot of books to be read..and revised!! A lot of procedures to be performed...and practiced!! A lot of patients to see...and to be examined!! Again and again!! Plus...melayu mudah lupa!!hahahah!! What a shame to a Malay MS...

Don't know what to say...what to do...what to think!! Aku terpaksa menerima padah dan natijah atas ape yg aku dah lakukan...belajar hanya nak pass...dan hanya untuk exam!! I'm ready to face all the consequences...and for the next postings...I'll never do this again... not even once!! Cewahh...

"exams exams exams"

Goodluck bro...for the paediatrics' end of posting exam!! Long live the future generations!!

Tribute to STAR 9701 - 13th January 2007

10 Years Down the Road…of Glory & Victory!!

Happy Birthday to all of you bro…the STAR 9701, Batch 41!!! Still miss you all very much!! I can still remember the first day we met and how we get thru all the hardship and happiness together…bak kate Parchee…combined!! It was a great 5 years to be with all of you…though your experience with me is not as good and great like the others…but it mean a lot to me…heh!!

Now, after 10 years…some of us have already working…have a good job (and a good pay)…bile lagi nak belanje member weii!! Some further their studies in degrees and masters...so who gonna be the first to get married??[of course few have already fucked the girl(s)]…sort of pre-marital sex…hahahahah!!! Don’t forget to apply a mechanical barrier(s) and remind your partner(s) to take ‘morning-after’ pill…heh!!

"Allahyarham Khairul Naim Azmi 1984-2005"

To our late Nawi who can’t be here to celebrate this day with us...we miss you so much!! I can’t forget the day we met…in MidValley during the National Day…having meals together with Taro, Lobo and Akmal…tak sangka tu kali terakhir kite jumpe…ai!! Al-Fatihah…all of you…for Nawi
Once again…happy birthday STAR 41!! Hope we can meet again, all together!! May the success be with all of you and do pray for me too…aku dah tak tahan ni…asyik depresi jek!!

"Member sampai mati…!!!"

Chow

Life as a MS

"Welcome to the hell of medicine"

Hi!! My second post for the long lost forgotten blog...can't remember when I created it and why...and even don't know what it is for!! Anyway...just as an intro for those who read this and subsequent so-called 'luahan hati saya'...

It's just an intro for another 'series' of story...life as a MS is not as good as you'll imagine...quit sucks and boring...not so glamorous...a lot of things to be sacrificed and a lot of excitement has been missed!! Undergo monotonous, sedated,innocent life just like in hell...no campus life...no rest!! It's just thick, heavy medical books (tu pon kalo bace) and patients (kalo pegi buat ward work)..hahaha!!

So much for that...tak tau dah ape nak tulis...sebenarnye tgh blur baru balik dari paediatric hematology clinics...tak syok sgt sbb prof raja takde...kalo tak memang jadi zombie laa...but a lot of things can be learned...she showed us how easy we can fail so that we will learn how to pass...heh!! Chow!!

MS = mitral stenosis, multiple sclerosis, myosarcoma, montelukast sodium, etc. --> just choose one which do you think fits me